Welcome to my thoughts corner! Choose an entry from the side menu to start reading.
Setting this up
So, the thoughts page is finally open! Congratulations to me, yay. This was significantly easier to code than the previous one, I hope everything else will be in the same line of simplicity going onwards because otherwise oh my god am I going to take long.
Just so you guys get an idea, it took me more than 2 years to finish the homepage. This site was started in the school year before my year exchange in Japan, and now it's already been 2 months since the year anniversary of said exchange. This is what happens when someone who has no idea of what she's doing embarks on a project beyond her usual ambitions. But hey, it's finally done!
Now the question is: will I spend more time finishing everything up, polishing/fixing/cleaning up the code or the time I spent making the homepage? We'll see, lol.
Always late
Don't you ever feel that you're always late
That you joined the group too late to become friends with the rest.
That you realized what you wanted too late to change directions.
That you realized you had to leave too late to make it seem like the good choice.
That you changed too late to be what someone else needed.
Always late to the party, late to the news.
Late, late, late.
Did it ever change?
Right now I'm sitting down at the room that used to be my playroom (not refurbished into my brother's bedroom, lol), listening to the music I remember using when I was 11 to cry and feel some sort of connection to the world. It all made me wonder if I have ever experienced actual change in my life, or if I'm just walking around in circles and always coming back to the same situation.
This last year, I went through many changes. I ended the year having dropped one of the most important group of friends I had throughout my life, the remnants of the online friends I once made to compensate my lack of real life ones. Now, I wonder if I cut them off out of a newfound maturity and growth or because of the same insecurities and issues that once plagued me. I really don't know.
I thought I was getting better, then things started going bad again and it didn't change from what it always happened back then. Now, I don't know what to think anymore. Is it real change if the new things come from circumstancial things? Is it real change if you come crumbling at the first sign of any of your old nightmares coming back? Did you even grow if the same songs from before make you cry?
Sanguine's Thought Gallery 
